


Rewritten

by HerSpecialAgent



Series: The Little Girl who Lived Down the Lane [1]
Category: Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks - The Return
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Audrey's S3 canonical arc is a strange and difficult one, Canonical Rape/Non-con, Drama, Eventual Canon Divergence, Explicit due to rape, F/M, I hate that I have to write about John Justice Wheeler, More or less Final Dossier compliant, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Teen Pregnancy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-17 00:11:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14176377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerSpecialAgent/pseuds/HerSpecialAgent
Summary: A simple act of civil disobedience sets Audrey Horne on a path of physical and psychological destruction. With her promising future now in ruins, she tries to rebuild her life and find out what happened to her Special Agent.





	1. "I cannot be saved."

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST THINGS FIRST - One thing I absolutely need to stress is that this chapter features a RAPE scene, so if you’re easily offended PLEASE DO NOT READ!!
> 
> Like many others, I was utterly crushed by Audrey’s appearance in The Return. I could write an essay on the many reasons why, but the one that hurt me the most was that we never saw Dale and Audrey reunite onscreen. Their chemistry was one of the best parts of the original series and for that to be completely ignored was heart breaking. The Final Dossier filled in some of the blanks in Audrey’s story, but it only served to depress me further due to the glaring lack of information on Audrey’s whereabouts during the course of Season three, and the confirmation of Audrey’s impregnation by Booper. The only positive that I can glean from this is that it gives me a chance to create my own version of Audrey’s backstory. So here it is, the first chapter of part one (of three) of the series! 
> 
> Thanks if you got through all this babble! Hope you enjoy! :)

### 1989.

Successfully chained to the vault door with no interference and her orders conveyed to a very bewildered Dell Mibbler, Audrey’s first act of civil disobedience was going like a dream. She reckoned she could be bold enough to predict that the decision to hold a meeting regarding the Ghostwood Development Project would be announced by lunchtime.

Armed with the documents she needed, she had marched into the basement of the Twin Peaks Savings and Loan with an unshakable determination. She wanted to convince her father to turn over a new leaf like she had. A good person lied within him, but it was currently stagnated by many years of greed and corruption.

Taking a stand like she never had before, Audrey felt like this was the first day of the rest of her life.

And in a dark twisted way, it was.

Her plans were disrupted when she heard other voices enter the basement.

Pete Martell and a man Audrey didn’t recognise walked into view.

“Hi Pete” She grinned at him.

“Audrey…” He returned her look knowingly. Pete was already privy to her protest as she had discussed it with him during their fishing trip a few days ago.

His companion, the “late” Andrew Packard was less than impressed. He was hoping not to be disturbed by anyone who wasn’t vitally necessary to carry out his business. If he wasn’t careful, the secret of his faked death wouldn’t remain a secret for long.

“Young lady, why are you chained to the bank vault?” He asked.

“Civil disobedience”

After a few seconds, Andrew’s irritation dissolved into amusement. The girl didn’t appear to identify him anyway.

“Waste no time arguing what a good man should be, be one - Marcus Aurelius. I admire your verve” He turned to Dell “I see no problem here”

Advancing towards Audrey, she shuffled backwards alongside the door to let them through. She called to Mr Mibbler as he walked past, unwilling to allow her plan to be derailed for much longer.

“Did you call the Gazette yet?”

She continued as he followed the men into the vault. “Maybe you should call the sheriff too. Ask for Agent Cooper”

Realising her message wasn’t getting through to him, Audrey sighed and reluctantly waited for the pair to finish their transaction. They eventually walked out of her view line.

She hoped Agent Cooper would admire her actions, taking a stand for what she believed was right. Haunted by her indecent actions in his hotel room that fateful night, she hoped that this act would change his perception of her from a naïve schoolgirl to a sophisticated and ambitious woman.

Needless to say, the torch she had for him still shone bright. She had never been unable to be fully extinguish her feelings for him, even whilst she was with Jack. She would always love Dale, no matter how hard she tried not to. Dale’s relationship with Annie was proof enough that the feeling wasn’t mutual.

Audrey’s lamentation was interrupted by the phone briefly ringing by the basement’s entrance, followed by a voice crying out:

_“It’s a boy!”_

_“It’s a boy!”_

She paid the odd announcement no mind and returned to her contemplation.

Endeavouring to retain her upbeat temperament, she reminded herself that just because they weren’t together now did not mean that they never would be. They still had their pact to fulfil. Perhaps in 10 years’ time the timing would be right and they could finally have their happy ending.

These were Audrey’s final thoughts before the bomb detonated. The explosion ripped through the vault and changed her life beyond all recognition.

* * *

 

The first sensation that awoke her was the faint crackling of electricity in the air, its source was unknown.

Audrey found herself in an arm chair with no recollection of how she’d gotten there. The place was both alien to Audrey, and yet somewhat familiar in a way she could not explain. Red curtains surrounded her, with a beige and brown chevron pattern at her feet. Two other chairs were set alongside each other at a 90 degree angle, bookended by two tall lamps. A marble statue stood behind the chairs, its pose mirrored the vulnerability that resided stubbornly in Audrey’s chest.

The memories that preceded her current whereabouts were shrouded in mystery. The black, knee length skirt and lilac polo neck sweater she was wearing failed to enlighten her. All she could remember was fire, fear, and a deep searing pain that had left no trace on her skin.

A presence alerted her to the chair on her far left.

The butterflies which had accompanied the appearance of Agent Cooper since the day they met tickled her insides gently, as if muted. Even her wide smile felt subdued.

It was clear he had aged, although Audrey couldn’t quite establish how much time had passed. Fifteen, maybe twenty years older at a guess. His hair hadn’t greyed, and his skin had retained a smooth unblemished quality as if wrinkles had been unable to form. His dark suit was as immaculate as it always was. Judging by the intense reaction in her stomach, it was clear that his advancement in age had not been detrimental to his attractiveness.

“Agent Cooper…” She breathed.

He said nothing. A look of regret and anguish pained his features.

“Where are we?”

“My biggest mistake…was trying to protect you”

His garbled response robbed Audrey of her voice. She understood him perfectly, but his tone and enunciation was completely alien. She asserted herself that this _had_ to be a dream. Wherever they both were did not fit in any sort of reality she knew. Having this reassurance in mind calmed her nerves and cleared her thoughts. Her questions were abundant but his cryptic message needed to be addressed first.

“What do you mean?”

Cooper vanished, leaving her question unanswered. Even in the certainty of her dreamlike state, his disappearance still startled her. She spotted him again by the corner of the room, looking at her vacantly before passing through the curtains.

Not wanting to be alone in such a bizarre place, Audrey decided to follow. The curtains interweaved so seamlessly together it took her a few moments to find the opening, but as soon as she did she made off down the corridor and into the next room.

It was empty.

Audrey heard someone calling out to her. It wasn’t Agent Cooper, it sounded more like the voice of a young boy. She scanned the room but couldn’t find the source. The voice was getting increasingly desperate with each cry of her name, and it resonated with her as if she’d heard it before and in this very place.

Then it ceased.                                                                             

A small man appeared in the centre of the room, dressed in a red suit. He danced to the dreamiest music Audrey had ever heard, reminiscent of her favourite song. Losing herself within the seductive tones, the impulse to interact with the man overwhelmed her. With each step, her desire increased. The man took no notice of her approach, continuing his dance.

Her hand was inches away from his shoulder when it was intercepted, dragging her in the opposite direction.

The interceptor was Agent Cooper.

He led her wordlessly out of the room and into the next one. Audrey’s breath caught in her throat as he urgently pulled her close, putting one hand around her waist whilst the other stroked her hair tenderly.

“You shouldn’t be here, Audrey” He whispered “There are many forces that would wish to do you harm”

Audrey was almost paralysed by the sensation of having Dale so close to her. She secretly relished the feeling of his body next to hers, the smell of his cologne and his dizzying breath on her ear.

“I don’t know why I’m here, Agent Cooper. Perhaps it is to save you”

He relinquished his arms and placed a small kiss to her lips. It was a gesture Audrey would treasure forever, but the sentimentality was swiftly negated by his next statement.

“I cannot be saved”

Before she could respond, he was gone again.

Two figures appeared in front of her, locked in an embrace, kissing deeply and passionately. It was a scene she was intensely familiar with, having only lived it the day before, her moment with Jack before he left. She watched herself in a surreal, almost out of body experience, her trademark beauty spot stood proud at side profile. Her brows knotted at the identity of the male. His clothes were as she remembered; Jack’s thick leather coat engulfed her shoulders as he smoothed her back, his dark hair tousled over his features. But she realised it was too dark, the colour of midnight on a moonless night. As she studied him more closely, she noticed how his chin was more pronounced and chiselled. The final puzzle piece fell as her apparition’s hands caressed it in the same way she had fantasised many times before.

Audrey’s knees would have buckled if gravity allowed it.

She was kissing Agent Cooper.

It was as if someone had yanked fistfuls of truths from the dark recesses of her mind, exhuming the heartache she had tried so desperately to bury.

_You wanted it to be him, didn’t you? When Jack was fucking you, you were picturing Cooper. How sad._

_Well, be careful what you wish for, my dear._

Audrey’s double had disappeared. Cooper now addressed her directly, his grave expression struck fear in her heart.

“When you see me again, it won’t be me”

_Because you might just get it._

Audrey awoke in bed, staring into the darkened eyes of Dale Cooper's doppelganger.

“Audrey. You’re awake. That’s good.”

Agonising pain stabbed at her lower half. What she saw when she glanced downwards between their bodies made her sick to her stomach.

Her gown had been pulled up just below her chin, revealing her broken naked body. Cooper’s pants were unzipped and positioned below his hips, along with his underwear.

And he was _in_ her.

Audrey stared at Dale with extreme perturbation. He returned it with sick glee, visibly gaining arousal from the frightened look in her eyes.

 She struggled against him; raising her frail arms in an attempt to push him off her but he seized her trembling hands with minimal effort. He placed them above her head single-handedly. His other hand crept up to clutch her left breast, kneading it indifferently like it was dough.

As she squirmed timorously beneath him, the doppelganger’s grin widened. He was glad that he had taken the risk to fuck Audrey, satisfying the wanton craving he had since meeting her and guaranteeing the lifelong misery of both Audrey and his twin, who he knew would be watching in abject horror from the Lodge. _He hadn’t seen nothing yet._ He thought to himself.

He tilted his head in mock confusion.

“What’s the matter, Audrey? You wanted this just as much as I did”

  _No…not like this!_ Her mind screamed at him. _Not like this! Dale would never do this to me._

His once hazel eyes were now two black holes boring into hers. The grin he wore was devoid of the warmth previously distinctive of him.

_When you see me again, it won’t be me._

Audrey’s terror soared to dizzying heights as the realisation set in.

This was _not_ Dale Cooper.

For a spilt second, she saw him – A man with long grey hair looked down at her, a maniacal grin stretched on his face. She almost lost consciousness with fear.

She tried to ask him who he was, but no words came.

He moved roughly within her, a sharp yelp ripping from her throat as he ground against her newly fractured pelvis. Audrey wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted the nightmare to end. But by the second forceful thrust she knew it never would be, even long after he’d finished with her. She was being raped by a man wearing the mask of her one true love, her Special Agent. The contorted agony in Audrey’s heart consumed her more than the physical pain “Cooper” was inflicting on her.

It wasn’t meant to be like this at all.

He quickened his pace, his once immaculate hair now trembled loosely against his forehead. His hands grappled her fragile frame, deliberately lingering on the areas that caused her the most pain. Audrey tried to call for help, but was swiftly inhibited by his mouth on hers, forcing her to swallow his repeated moans. His tongue darted like a snake, dominating her tongue in an instant. The overpowering smell of engine oil singed her nostrils.

A heated irrepressible feeling emanated in her stomach. She recognised it with profound abhorrence.

It was pleasure.

She bit her lip, trying her hardest not to feel it. The most harrowing experience of her life and her body appeared to be reacting in kind. The betrayal she felt for “Cooper” was almost outmatched by the betrayal of her own self. With every thrust it grew stronger until it culminated into an electrifying burst which Audrey had to clench her jaw not to vocally respond to. Despite her efforts, a strangled cry still managed to escape through her teeth.

Witnessing her first ever climax through intercourse, he laughed. _Cooper is sure to get a kick out of that!_ He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered. “I’m so glad that you approve”

The sickening ordeal felt like forever. Eventually his frenzied thrusts abruptly stopped, a strained shuddering sound erupted from his throat as his nails clawed at her restrained hands and breast. It concluded with a repugnant sensation Audrey could only identify as him ejaculating inside of her. His seed burned like acid.

It was finally over.

He withdrew from her and redressed, still spitefully admiring the frozen revulsion on her face.

“I would say this was nothing personal Audrey, but we both know that’s not strictly true.” He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. Audrey felt her skin twitch in disgust under his touch. He then kissed her deeply; his tongue slithered slowly, savouring the taste of her mouth. He was sure that they would meet again, but not for a few years at least. He had some important business to attend to.

“Goodbye, Audrey”

As if his lips had been coated with a sleeping draft, Audrey lost consciousness seconds after the doppelganger left.


	2. “You must have a guardian angel up there”

Audrey awoke from a dreamless sleep, the fateful visit from “Agent Cooper” now three weeks prior.

She had been raped by the doppelganger of the man she loved, driven by the concealed desire of his counterpart and the influence of BOB.  It was an experience that was set to shake Audrey’s mental state to its very core. Its consequences infinitely more destructive than the explosion she had recently survived.

Fortunately for her, the memory loss sustained from the explosion had also encompassed her assault.

Whether it would remain that way was another matter entirely.

The lights felt blinding at first; Audrey’s tired eyes ached in their sockets as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. After a few seconds of blinking, her vision slowly began to adjust.

Her most recent recollection was going to bed the night before, her plans finalised and ready for execution. She scanned her new surroundings with extreme disorientation, seeing nothing that resembled anything familiar.

The only exception was her father, who was asleep in the chair beside her.

Ben’s chosen sleeping position indicated that his nap was not intentional. One leg was crossed over the other whilst his arms were bound tightly against him, his chin rested on his chest as his head slumped over in extreme exhaustion. His awkward posture also meant that it was only matter of time before the discomfort would wake him.

He had been sitting with her for four hours, fighting back the aftereffects of another sleepless night which had now finally caught up with him. He hadn’t slept right since Audrey’s hospitalisation.

It was 9.20am when he found the note Audrey had left for him on the front desk three and a half weeks ago. Foolishly skimming through her desperate pleas for his reform, Ben only took heed when he read of her intention to expose his plans for the town. His full schedule immediately fell by the wayside. Fearful of the damage Audrey was about to cause; Ben had wasted no further time and bolted to his car to stop her. She had not stated her proposed whereabouts, but he thought it would be prudent to start at the Post’s head office. He hoped he could think up some form of legal way to prohibit them from publishing whatever information Audrey had supplied them with.

 His hand was on the car door handle when he heard the explosion.

Consumed by the guilt of being the catalyst of her ill-timed protest and the fact that he still went through with the sale of the Mill, Ben stayed with her every moment he could spare. He couldn’t renege on the deals he had made, but he could try and repair the damage he’d caused to their relationship.

Audrey was not particularly pleased to see him, but he did thoughtfully present himself as the first clue of her whereabouts. The remaining clues: The steady beeping noise, the needle in her arm and the dull pain which kept her pinned her to the bed provided her with the answer - She was in Calhoun Memorial Hospital.

The reason for her being admitted still remained a mystery. Whatever it was, it appeared to have almost killed her.

 “Audrey! Thank God, you’re awake.”

Benjamin Horne, now awake, leapt to her bedside and took her hand in his.

She hadn’t seen him look this dishevelled since his recent breakdown. His wrinkled clothes had clearly been lived in for a few days and a five o’clock shadow was evident on his jawline, but what puzzled her was the odd scar situated in the middle of his forehead. If she didn’t harbour so much animosity towards him, she might have asked him how he acquired it.

“How do you feel, darling?”

She remained silent. Her father’s sudden “affection” didn’t undo any of his past mistakes. That aside, she felt that she needed to conserve what little energy she had. It felt like an effort just to keep her eyes open.

“You were caught in an explosion at the bank.” Ben explained “You are so lucky to be alive and I am so grateful I haven’t lost you. I love you, Audrey” He kissed the back of her hand.

 _Explosion at the Bank?_ She thought. _But_ _I never went to the bank…_ Still aware of her proposed operation against her father, Audrey began to piece together what might have happened.

When she tried to enquire further, Audrey suddenly became conscious of the numbness in her throat. Fear rose within her as she began to realise she might not be able to speak.  

Noticing the increased distress in her features, Ben frowned, placing a hand to her forehead.

“Audrey? Are you okay, darling? Speak to me”

Temporarily putting her resentment of her father to one side, she tried to gesture with her terrified eyes to alert someone, anyone who could help her.

Luckily, her message prevailed as Ben made his way to the door.

“Wait a moment, I’ll-I’ll get the doctor”

* * *

Doctor Hayward was Audrey’s treating physician but was unavailable at the time of her awakening. A nurse explained that Audrey’s vocal chords, along with the majority of her other muscles, had become significantly weakened in her comatose state. She seemed relatively optimistic when Ben tentatively asked about the prospects of her fully recovering, but the duration was a few months at the very least.

Audrey had been dosed up to the gills to spare her the physical pain. She’d acquired a broken cheekbone, broken ribs, a fractured pelvis, a broken leg and a fractured ankle, but the most disturbing ailment Audrey had was a loud, high pitch ringing sound in both of her ears. She was unable to communicate this issue with the nurse at that time, and so had resigned herself to ignoring it and praying it would alleviate itself in time.

Her mother visited after her father left for an important meeting. It was of no surprise to Audrey that her parents spent time with her individually, they had been separated in all but name for as long as she could remember.

However, Audrey’s older brother Johnny did not accompany her in Ben’s place. When she eventually questioned this, Sylvia explained what had happened the first time they visited the day after the explosion.

As soon as they set foot in her room, Johnny became increasingly agitated and upset for no discernible reason, muttering Audrey’s name under his breath repeatedly. He then rushed over to her bedside, clasping her left hand tightly in his. It took two nurses and Sylvia to get him to release her. Johnny had cried for the remainder of the day.

Sylvia decided not to risk an encore and left him with his carer on future visits.

Johnny was prone to episodes every now and again, but this burst of emotion seemed different to Audrey, if it happened the way her mother had described it. He’d never acted this way in response to her before. She’d never had an extended stay in hospital before so she had nothing to compare it to. Was it merely because she was gravely injured, or was there something else behind it?

Audrey still resented her father, but he had surprised her by his attentiveness. She wasn’t sure whether it was out of guilt or obligation. Beneath her soured perception of him, she did genuinely yearn to be on good terms with him. A small, perhaps deluded, part of her entertained the possibility that he was finally turning over a new leaf.

It was just a shame that it took her almost being killed for him to finally do so.

No doubt he had spared no expense in procuring her private room; It was spacious and airy with a large window, boasting a sunlit outside world which she sadly wouldn’t reconvene with for a while. The prolonged beeping of her heartrate monitor was particularly intrusive at first, but eventually faded into background noise.

A large bunch of yellow tulips sat beside her on the table. She guessed correctly that they were from her father, but had not read the card to confirm this.

Her weakened muscles had mostly incapacitated her, but luckily for Audrey she had retained a very limited amount of upper body strength. She found out that she could not only manoeuver her torso gently to retrieve items around her but she could also write somewhat legibly. To take advantage of this, she was given a pad and pen to allow her to communicate.

This physical discovery also meant that she could have reached over to the card and read it if she wished, but Audrey wanted to pretend they were from Dale for a little while longer. It was the only positive thought keeping her mentality afloat.

She wondered if he had visited her when she was unconscious. Now that word was spreading of her awakening, maybe he would visit her again. Although the passage of time seemed small to Audrey, she missed him just as much if she’d been conscious in the preceding weeks. However, the long hiatus increased the likelihood that Dale had since returned to Philadelphia, leaving Twin Peaks behind for the foreseeable future. It was a scenario Audrey couldn’t allow herself ponder more than once. If she learned that Annie had also returned with him, she wasn’t sure if she could contain her dismay.

Her entire body felt numb, and she wasn’t sure her medication was entirely to blame. Two months on from Laura’s death and Audrey’s life was now in tatters. A simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time had ruined all of her future prospects. It would be months before she could walk and talk again, and that’s if she was lucky.

Even looking in a mirror was an ordeal. The drastic degradation of her appearance distressed her so much she could barely keep her hand still as she held it to her face. Her vision became distorted as her dulled eyes filled with tears at the sight of herself.

The three week coma had somehow aged her well beyond her years. Her face was thin and drawn whilst her complexion had paled into transparency. Her left cheek had swollen to the size of a golf ball, angry and red. The softness of her lips were now sandpaper to the touch, blistered and sore from neglect.

Unable to withstand it any longer, she placed her hand mirror on the bed. It promptly slid off, falling to the floor with a loud clatter. She chose not to call someone to retrieve it, it could stay there forever as far as she was concerned.

The feelings of sorrow and desolation swallowed Audrey whole. She put her head in her hands and broke down.

* * *

“Hello Audrey” Doc Hayward greeted her the next morning “How are you feeling?”

Audrey gave a non-committal shrug.

He smiled at her warmly “Is there anything I can do? Would you like me to get you a book or a magazine, some food?”

She shook her head.

“If you think of something, just let me or one of the nurses know.”

Picking up the chart at the foot of her bed, the doctor inspected her medical notes. “You are an extremely lucky young woman, Audrey. The three week coma aside, surviving with only a few broken bones and minimal internal damage is something of a miracle considering how close you were to the blast”

She nodded reluctantly. The nurses had told her that she was standing by the vault door, only a few metres away. Being alive was unbelievable in itself.

“You must have a guardian angel up there” he winked.

Audrey did not respond. She hadn’t slept the night before and was in no mood to humour him, no matter how cordial his intentions were.

Doctor Hayward wasn’t feeling particularly upbeat himself, but due to his adherence to professional conduct he didn’t allow himself to convey this to his patients. Throwing himself into his work was all he could do to distract himself from his estranged family.

Unbeknownst to Audrey, Doctor Hayward had been available at the time of her awakening. His reason for the snub lied with her most frequent visitor.

Benjamin Horne had destroyed his family irrevocably with his selfish behaviour. He couldn’t trust himself to keep his composure around him, not while his wife and eldest daughter refused to speak to him.

Realising his method of cheering her up wasn’t working; he decided to try a different approach. One that was guaranteed to put a smile on young Audrey’s face.

“You had a visitor the day after they brought you in”

She looked at him enquiringly; her father hadn’t informed her of any notable visitors during her coma.

“Agent Cooper”

Audrey’s eyes widened, instinctual elation bubbled in the pit of her stomach.

His grinned triumphantly. “I thought that might perk you up! Now I can’t tell you what he said to you; I only saw him as he was leaving, but I’m sure you can appreciate that he didn’t leave Twin Peaks without saying goodbye to you”

 _Goodbye…?_ The news still felt like a punch in the gut, even though she’d strongly suspected it. She sighed deeply.

It seemed like only yesterday that their eyes first met across the Great Northern restaurant. He was sitting at the table talking to Trudy, presumably ordering breakfast. Audrey would never forget how handsome he looked in his dark suit and his combed back hair; she fell in love with him instantly. Time seemed to falter as she caught his eye; the secret satisfaction that she had caught him off-guard lit a fire in her heart that would never go out. She swore she felt the electricity crackle between them when he touched her hand.

It appeared she had done a bad job of concealing her disappointment when Doc Hayward reached down and placed a comforting hand to her shoulder.

“You knew he couldn’t stick around forever” he told her “But indeed it is a shame. He is a good man, too few of them in this world.”

She nodded.

“He will be back” He reassured her, moving his hand onto hers briefly. “I’m sure he will”

A question lingered in her mind. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer to it as the most likely response would sting, but she’d ask it regardless. She took her pad and pen from her bedside and wrote:

_“Did Annie go with him?”_

He paused briefly. Doctor Hayward’s warm smile dissolved at the blink of an eye.

“No she didn’t, which is why Agent Cooper will most likely return.”

His answer attracted no further enquiry, but his delivery perplexed Audrey into asking another question:

_“Is Annie okay?”_

This time Doctor Hayward took even longer to answer.

He looked at her soberly “She’s…in a catatonic state”

_What!?_

Audrey stared at him, stunned by the revelation. She only snapped out of it to hastily scribble a follow up question.

_“Will she ever come out of it?”_

“It’s too soon to tell at this stage”

She frowned. It didn’t make any sense. As much as it pained Audrey to admit, Dale was besotted with Annie. Why would he leave her in such a state? Abandoning her when she needed him the most. That wasn’t the Dale Cooper that she knew, but she recalled that this wasn’t the first time that something tragic had befallen on a romantic interest. Experiencing that trauma again must have been too much for him to witness.

 _“What happened to her?_ ”

“It’s hard to say. She appears to have suffered some kind of neurological trauma. The tests we’ve administered so far have been inconclusive.”

Realising that Doctor Hayward didn’t appear to have any knowledge of what caused Annie’s injuries, Audrey decided that she needed to see her. It may not answer her questions, but perhaps it would provide her with some clues.

_“Can I see her?”_

“Norma visits her every day, I’m sure she won’t mind you stopping by. I’ll have a word with her later”

 _Of course!_ She thought. A lightbulb illuminated in her mind. _Norma would have spoken with the Sheriff; she must know what happened to her._

 _“Thanks, Doc”_ She smiled at him gratefully.


	3. "There are many cures for a broken heart"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've recently been re-reading (for the millionth time) a damn fine wip fic called 'Misfeasance' by a user called Fohatic. I imagine most of you already know it, but it is easily the best Dale/Audrey fic I've ever read. It's also partially my inspiration to write this series. My writing is nowhere near as good as theirs, but it still gave me the motivation to attempt the Dale/Audrey love story we were sorely missing in the return.  
> Fohatic, if you're reading this, thank you. I await your next chapter with baited breath!
> 
> Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DALE COOPER! You beautiful man! <3
> 
> (I've used a few quotes from Mark Frost's 'The Secret History of Twin Peaks' - They are marked with an *)

Audrey hated being still, and being confined by her very own limbs was nothing short of torture for her. The TV in her room did not improve matters. The never ending bile of talk shows and soap operas bored her to tears, but she had no choice but to withstand it once her stack of magazines ran dry. She had very few visitors other than her parents and doctors.

Being a beautiful wealthy young woman had not done Audrey any favours in terms of gaining friends. It was the reason why she acted out as much as she did. In spite of the trouble she caused for others, it was still a better alternative than to succumb to her biting loneliness.

She remembered being close with Laura at one point, but through either time or disinterest, they drifted apart.

Dwelling from a recently enlightened perspective, Audrey realised that the cause of their estrangement could be attributed to Laura’s secret affair with her father. It would make sense that the guilt would have been a hefty burden on their friendship.

Since early adolescence, Audrey was aware that she had been graced with beauty with almost universal appeal - Guys fell over themselves trying to gain her affection whilst girls shunned her out of envy.

Those who weren’t jealous of her looks were jealous of her money. Most people would give their right arm to be rich, but Audrey saw it more as a curse than a blessing. There was an unspoken stigma attached to it.

It went without saying that her privileged lifestyle was a stark contrast to the majority of her peers, but it wasn’t just jealousy that lost her friends. Some assumed that wealth and arrogance were mutually exclusive. While that might have been true about Audrey to a certain extent – her parents’ influence firmly to blame - a decent person dwelled within her waiting to introduced. Only a small minority bothered to interact with her to discover this.

All she wanted was to be treated like everyone else, _was that too much to ask?_

This inherent teenage backlash saddened Audrey initially, but over time she supressed it, opting to create her own fun instead.

However, this only served to alienate her further as her ‘fun’ was targeted at the misery of anyone who met her malevolent gaze.  

One particularly enjoyable pastime - which conveniently incorporated her assets - was stealing the boyfriends of the girls that really ticked her off. The comical screeching they’d emit as they confronted their soon to be exes was always worth the increase in vilification it generated.

Her status as an outcast also ignited sparks of animosity she held for her millionaire father;  A feeling that grew  over the years and was  presently set to  evolve into hatred.

* * *

Donna and James were her only visitors from High school, but Audrey refused to count it as a proper visit. All they did was stand outside her door for a few minutes.

She had watched them through the window that looked out into the corridor, wondering why they weren’t coming in.

Donna was visibly upset by something, her lips taut and quivering as she crossed her arms tightly. James affectionately untangled them, putting his hands in hers in an unsuccessful attempt to comfort her.

Whatever her issue was, it made them reluctant to enter, which increased Audrey’s curiosity tenfold.                

Her and Donna’s relationship never ventured beyond the odd conversation here and there. Why was the prospect of seeing her so distressing all of a sudden?

After a minute, Audrey finally managed to catch Donna’s eye. They stared at each other blankly before Donna forged a weak smile, followed by an equally subdued wave.

James also flashed her a greeting.

All Audrey could manage in her fatigue was a smile, hoping that it conveyed to them that they could enter. The thought of having visitors that weren’t relatives excited her immensely.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Donna’s apprehension for telling Audrey otherwise got the better of her. She shook her head at James and hurriedly left.

With an apologetic look, James followed suit.

Audrey’s excitement decomposed into confusion. She deflated, sinking further into her mattress, wishing she could have disappeared into it and never return.

* * *

Her memories of the explosion were still hazy. She imagined they always would be, considering her proximity to the blast zone. This proved to be a slight hindrance when a reporter from the Twin Peaks Post came to interview her.

Being a regular viewer of the local news, she recognised him as Cyril Pons.

The interview was short at around twenty minutes, but to Audrey it felt like a century. The only questions she could effectively answer were the ones pertaining to herself post coma; enquiries regarding the explosion were fruitless. She had to force herself to ignore the disappointment escalating on Pons’ face with each pass.

She received an advance copy the next day. As a once aspiring actress, she dreamt of seeing herself on a front page of a newspaper. The reality didn’t fill her with the exhilaration she’d imagined.

Audrey was also given copies of the Post spanning the weeks she was unconscious. Doctor Hayward had brought them in, thinking it might be beneficial for her to catch up on the weeks she’d missed. Apparently it had been the most eventful few weeks in Twin Peaks history.

Audrey wasn’t sure if it was trepidation or anticipation she felt, knowing what she was about to read. Her father and the hospital staff had given her odd snippets of information about what happened; and now she was seconds away from finding out the whole story for herself.

A chill cascaded down her spine as she began to read:

#         ‘EXPLOSION AT BANK: THREE DEAD, ONE INJURED’*

The first word that sprung to Audrey’s mind was ‘surreal’. She had no recollection of the incident so it had been easy to believe that it never happened, but the evidence was now sat in her lap. She hoped the report would provide her with the necessary prompt for her clouded mind, but she doubted it.

The explosion was caused by a gas leak and took the lives of Delbert Mibbler, Pete Martell and apparently Andrew Packard who had died a few years ago.

A lump swelled in her throat when she read Pete’s name amongst the dead. She had been informed of his passing by one of the nurses, but seeing it in print gave it significant emotional weight.

Their brief friendship had meant the world to Audrey.

She tried to remain strong through her grief - Her previous crying episode was accompanied by an intense aching in her chest, presumably from her broken ribs. She was reluctant to add to her current discomfort.

Pete’s chivalrous nature had allowed her to see Jack before he left for Brazil, even when she had imposed it on him so rudely. He even waited patiently for her when she’d boarded Jack’s jet to make love to him - an act she now felt deeply ashamed of.

Nonetheless, her disrespect didn’t deter him from offering to take her fishing, of which she gladly accepted. The tales of his own adventures when he was her age amused her greatly, effectively distracting her from Jack’s departure.

_“There are many cures for a broken heart, but nothing quite like a trout’s leap in the moonlight”_

By the end of the evening, Pete had proven his words to be completely right.

It was the most fun she’d had in years, she only wished she could have met him sooner. For the first time since Dale, she felt like she had a friend.

_‘He also confirmed that Miss Horne may have been intentionally shielded by one of the victims in the blast, Pete Martell, who was found lying on top of her. Mr Martell was pronounced dead at the scene.’*_

The threat of pain could no longer prevent Audrey’s tears. After spending many years causing trouble for others, she never felt she was worthy of an act of such magnitude. The fact that Pete sought to protect her without a second thought for himself was overwhelming to her.

She wanted to attend his funeral, to thank him for saving her life, but presumed the service had long since passed.

 As an alternative message of appreciation, Audrey vowed to not let Pete’s courageous gesture be in vain. She was going to live her life to the fullest, even if it meant potentially being mute and wheelchair bound for the rest of her days.

Audrey’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at the next headline.

#         MISS TWIN PEAKS WINNER SNATCHED DURING TECHNICAL DISTURBANCE

_Annie._

She remembered that Miss Twin Peaks had concluded with a frightening series of explosions, but Audrey had chalked it up to a juvenile prank gone awry. Nowhere near as sinister as it apparently turned out to be.

The chaos arose seconds after Annie was crowned by Doctor Hayward. She had been standing at the back of stage with Donna and Shelly, the three of them relishing in the jubilant atmosphere.

Audrey was feeling particularly positive despite losing to Annie Blackburn for a second time. The audience had reacted very well to her speech; she hoped that they would uphold that support when she chained herself to the vault the next morning.

The music ground to a halt and the lights went out. Darkness and confused murmurings filled the Roadhouse.

Audrey asked the girls what was going on, but neither of them responded. They were just as puzzled as she was.

The panic set in when the strobe lights flickered and the explosions detonated randomly around the floor. In the sporadic lighting and the ensuing commotion, it was difficult for Audrey to recall exactly what occurred from that moment on. The air was filled with screams, smoke and the shuttering of the lights.

Eventually someone grabbed her and dragged her towards the front entrance and out of the building unharmed. She still didn’t know who it was to this day. Whoever it was, she had gripped them tightly in fear of being separated by the alarmed crowd running around like headless chickens.

All the while Annie Blackburn was accosted by an unknown assailant, later identified as Windom Earle.

Audrey was certainly shaken by the experience. It took her a while to regain focus on the finishing touches of her plans before she slept.

She hadn’t thought about it again until now.

The Post’s details regarding the incident were vague, even though it was reported two days after the incident took place. It appeared that the kidnapping was only made public knowledge when Annie was admitted to hospital. No one, not even the sheriff, seemed willing to divulge any information regarding events after Miss Twin Peaks.  

It was clear the only way she was going to find out more was by talking to Norma, and failing that, Sheriff Truman. Agent Cooper had been watching the show from the side-lines. He must have witnessed the kidnapping, considering his vengeful ex-partner was involved. Sheriff Truman would have almost certainly accompanied him in the pursuit.

Doctor Hayward wasn’t kidding; it seemed like almost everyone’s lives had changed in the space of three weeks. Bobby’s dad was dead, as well as Leo Johnson, taking the death toll to 5 in the space of a few days. Nadine Hurley had snapped out of her high school regression and Audrey was already aware of how Annie was.

However, the biggest perturbation for Audrey was found on the last copy of the Post.

#         HORNE BUYS PACKARD MILL AND GHOSTWOOD ESTATE IN GROUNDBREAKING SALE

The paper crumpled beneath her seething hands as she read of her father’s betrayal. The sound of her internal screams could have shattered windows.

It was the most painful slap in the face she had ever received from him, stinging far more than any physical one. All the tireless research she’d put into civil disobedience and social protest had been negated by his near-sighted self-indulgence.

She was foolish to think that he was capable of reform. If his only daughter almost dying for her cause wasn’t enough for him to at least _consider_ changing his mind, then he was truly beyond help.

To pour more salt into the wound, she then realised that she could no longer oppose it within the community - all the evidence she had against the project would have been destroyed in the explosion.

Irrespective of all her effort, greed had won.

Audrey decided from that point he was no longer her father. He was Benjamin Horne, corrupt businessman. And she _loathed_ him.

* * *

 The embers of rage were still hot when he visited her the next morning. He should have counted himself lucky she was currently mute, Audrey thought. There were so many caustic things she wanted to yell at him, but she conceded that her present circumstances would at least force her to keep her thoughts concise.

Taking advantage of her condition, she ground her teeth continuously as soon as he entered her room.

“How are you today, darling?”

Dressed in a clean starched suit and red tie, Ben was starting to resemble his old self again. A sizable mass of guilt had relinquished his shoulders slightly when Audrey awoke a few days ago.

His eyes sparkled beneath his frames, still visibly overjoyed that his daughter was alive and eager to do whatever was necessary to repair their broken bond, within reason.

Judging by the fire that danced dangerously in Audrey’s eyes, he was far too late.

_“I’m amazed at how heartless and corrupt you are”_

His expression fell. Leaning back into his seat, he reached for the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously.

“Why? What have I done?”

 _What has he done?!_ Audrey couldn’t believe he had the gall to ask such a question. Everything Ben Horne had done in his life was motivated by profit, never by the wellbeing of the community, let alone his own family. Audrey was sick of it, and sick of him.

Refusing to tire her hand out by writing words that would only be wasted on him, she grabbed the Twin Peaks Post from her nightstand and threw it at him.

Ben winced in pain as the newspaper drove his glasses into the bridge of his nose.

“Audrey! Calm down!”

Audrey wasn’t listening, preoccupied by frantically pressing her emergency button.

To an outsider’s perspective, this exchange might have seemed comical, but to Audrey and Ben, it was the beginning of the end of their turbulent relationship as father and daughter.

Ben looked at the Post which had conveniently landed front page up in his lap.

The penny finally dropped.

The conversations they’d previously shared had had stayed away from this topic, for this very reason. He’d planned to break the news to her gently, but it seemed that he took too long to pluck up the courage.

Aware the great lengths she had gone through to ensure the Ghostwood project’s failure, he knew her reaction would be volatile. Her performance with the emergency bell proved this succinctly.

“Audrey, I am only doing what is best for this town. You need to understand that. Even if I did wish to withdraw, I legally cannot.”

Before he could reason with her further, a nurse entered.

“Are you okay, Miss Horne?”

Her nails dug into the pad as wrote down three words with no hesitation:

_“Make him leave”_

“That’s fine. I don’t need an escort” Ben snapped, unimpressed by Audrey’s childish attitude. He was hoping he could discuss this with her rationally, but apparently not.

It appeared that his daughter’s temper made it impossible for her to see his predicament. His only option was to speak with her when she was calm.

He stood up, placing Audrey’s copy of The Post at the foot of her bed before leaving.  

Audrey’s request fulfilled, the nurse smiled at her gently before following him.

She fell back onto the pillows resting against her headboard, somehow exhausted from her silent confrontation. She smoothed down her gown in one swift movement, relieving the anger that had crinkled it.

The increased physical activity alerted her to her hunger, which she casually ignored. The hospital’s food was inedible slop and she had eaten all of the grapes that her mother had given her.

Her eyes were drawn to the tulips once again. The smile-inducing shade of yellow was wasted on her, but she admired the intricate patterns in crystal vase they were ensconced in.

Curiosity finally fuelled her to lean over and remove the card which was tucked into the stems.

The image on the card was bordered with sunflowers, with ‘Get well soon’ printed in looped gold calligraphy.

Upon opening the card, she recognised her father’s handwriting instantly.

She sighed mournfully. Doc Hayward’s confirmation of Dale’s visit rekindled the hope that the flowers were from him, but now she knew for certain that they weren’t.

The message read:

 

_Audrey,_

_I am sorry for everything._

_I promise to be a better father from now on._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

_He didn’t try hard enough._ Audrey thought testily.

Without a second glance, she ripped the message from the card and threw it towards the bin. Her arm, weakened from her perfect throw moments ago, caused her to miss by inches. It bounced lightly on the linoleum.

 Using the blank space on the other side of the card’s image, she wrote a new message to someone she desperately wanted to speak to.

Placing the card where she found it, she called for the nurse.

_“I would like to speak with Doctor Hayward please”_

“I think he’s currently speaking with another patient right now, Miss Horne. I can get him to stop by afterwards if you wish?”

_“Yes, please”_

Thirty minutes later, Doc Hayward came by as requested.

“Hello Audrey, you called for me?”

She nodded before writing on her pad.

_“I have a personal favour to ask if that’s okay?”_

He smiled, taking  the seat next to her bed.

“Of course, Audrey. I’d be happy to help”

She gestured to the flowers beside her. “Could _you put these tulips on Pete Martell’s grave for me?”_

His face fell slightly “Oh. Do you not want them anymore?”

_“They’re from Ben. I’d much rather give them to Pete, he saved my life”_

Doc Hayward shifted uneasily in his seat.

Ben now had two daughters that refused to acknowledge him.

He had no sympathy for him, but an abundance for his innocent daughter.

“Audrey…You can’t call him that. No matter what he’s done, he will always be your father”

_“He’s barely been a father to me my whole life. He’s selfish and only interested in his own gain. I can only dream about having a father-daughter relationship like you have with Donna”_

Audrey’s earnest compliment inadvertently backfired. Doc Hayward subtly recoiled as if she’d slapped him.

Reminded of Donna’s strange behaviour earlier in the day, Audrey exacerbated matters further by asking:

_“How is Donna?”_

“She’s fine” he answered, perhaps too quickly.

His eyes fell to his feet. They hadn’t spoken in weeks, and it broke his heart more and more each day

“She’s-uh studying for her exams at the moment”

Audrey nodded politely. Sensing from the emotional descent in his body language, she feared she had crossed a line – but was unsure where.

Knowing it was not his place to inform Audrey of the truth of Donna’s true parentage; he took a deep breath and rose to his feet.

“I will deliver the flowers tonight”

 

_Pete,_

_I cannot thank you enough for saving my life._

_I still don’t know if I’m worthy of such a gesture, but I promise I will not squander it._

_Rest in peace._

_Love, Audrey_


	4. “I’ll stick with the drink, thanks”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, folks! When I first looked at this chapter for editing I absolutely hated it, but when I started hacking away at it I couldn't stop writing and now it's 3x as long! General busyness and my T playing up has held me up too.
> 
> Anyway, here it is! Enjoy :)

Audrey flinched out of a restless sleep for the fifth night in a row.

A decent nights sleep had become the ‘White Whale’ to her. Thanks to regular physiotherapy sessions, drifting off was a piece of cake, but she couldn’t stay asleep for more than few hours at most. 

An ominous nightmare haunted her dreams.

The content never wavered, but neither did the terror. A dark force would materialise before her eyes, engulfing her whole. It pressed her into the bed, suffocating her. Pain flared all over her body, erupting more strongly where her injuries were localised, unexplainable heat built in the pit of her stomach. Audrey’s only means of movement was the futile widening of her eyes; an unknown paralysis prevented her limbs from moving, and her voice was still mislaid. All she could do was gaze into the darkness and hope that the intense fear would stop her heart and put her out of her misery.

Just when she’d think that her wish was coming true, she’d awaken, sweating, gasping for air and tearing at a dark cloud that was no longer there. 

Waking up to the darkness of her room was so reminiscent of her night terror that, in a moment of distress, Audrey shot out her hand like a tightly coiled spring, almost knocking her lamp over in the process of switching it on.

She had never been scared of the dark. As a young child she’d relished in its mystery and solitude.  She felt pathetic that her mind had succumbed to such a juvenile phobia.

She didn’t try to sleep again. Sitting up in bed, she brushed away the hair that had glued to her face during her sleeping seizure and wiped away the excess moisture from her hands with a nearby tissue. Placing a hand against her chest, she breathed slowly and purposely to coax her heart to do the same.

She’d been trying for days to figure out what her nightmare meant but to no avail.

A logical explanation would be claustrophobia, but it was unlikely when she was in the largest private room in the hospital and had never consciously suffered from the condition previously.

Glancing at the clock on the left wall, she noted the time – 4.30AM. Only a few hours before the day nurses arrived, attempting sleep again proved itself to be pointless anyway. The cosy warmth of her short-lived slumber dissipated in the cold, clinical air. Audrey shivered, and pulled the thin duvet until it rested on her chest.

Like most days, she struggled to shake Dale from her mind. No magazine, TV or visitor could alleviate her from his image. As the 4AM silence alerted her to the still present ringing of her ears, Audrey decided to take action to distract herself and ease this heavy burden from her mind.

Leaning back against the headboard, she took her pad and pen beside her lamp and turned to a fresh page.

She wrote, not allowing herself to stop until the weight was lifted.

_Dale,_

_I hope you are well._

_As I understand it, you left fairly soon after I was hospitalised. I presume you’re currently on a new case, waist deep in another mystery filled with bad guys in dire need of a dose of FBI justice only you could provide._

_Doc Hayward told me that you visited me. I’m glad you did. I can’t say I remember what you said to me (if you said anything), so feel free to let me know now if you want. I’m all ears!_

_I heard about Annie. I’m sorry. I thought you might still be around after that, but I can see why you decided against it. It must have seemed all too familiar to you. I hope you’re not blaming yourself for this. I’m sure you did everything you could to save her._

_I know you probably don’t want to talk about what happened, and I accept that. I just want to know that you’re okay. I’m currently not okay, but knowing that you are would provide me with some comfort._

_I wish I could give you some positive news, but for the life of me I can’t think of anything. Despite being post-coma I’m not in the best of shape. I’m stuck in a broken body in this hell-hole of a hospital, bored out of my skull on a daily basis._

_It should come as no surprise to you that I’m no longer on speaking terms with Ben. I hate that it’s come to this, but with his narcissism still firmly at the reins I feel like I have no choice. I can’t be around that money grubbing monster anymore. I almost died and he still signed away for his thirty pieces of silver without a second thought to anyone but himself._

_I hate him, Dale. I really do. I don’t want anything further to do with him for as long as I live._

_My biggest problem as I write this is that I can’t sleep. I keep having the same horrible dream over and over. I feel like I’m losing more of my sanity with each passing day._

_Do you have bad dreams? Ones where you feel like you’re dying? It was terrifying, yet familiar like I’d somehow experienced it before. Is there something in that or am I looking too much into it? Bear in mind that there is very little else for me to do in this hospital bed._

_I want to thank you for being my friend. You were the first person to ever treat me as an adult. When I came by your hotel room that night, I was hurting and I thought that sleeping with you would have eased that pain._

This was a half-truth – She also knew that Dale was the love of her life and foolishly thought that he would return her feelings, discarding his rigid ethical code.

_I don’t mean to sound conceited, but any other man would have taken me up on my offer without a second thought. But you didn’t. You saw through what I wanted and gave me something I didn’t even know I needed._

_I don’t think you truly realise how much of an impact you had. Talking to you that night and these past few weeks has changed me. I was a bitch before I met you, but now I want to be a better person and to make the world a better place. It sucks that my first step in doing this landed me here, but I won’t let it stop me!_

_If you’re on an assignment, I know you won’t respond to this letter any time soon. But if you could spare five minutes to tell me how you’re doing, I’d appreciate it._

_Love, Audrey x_

_PS: Our pact still stands. I will see you again someday. Brace yourself, Agent Cooper!_

Her hand was screaming at her by the time she was finished, but her mind was sated and that was all Audrey cared about. She put her heart into every word she wrote, so much so that she was now hesitant to send it to Dale. She reserved the decision for another time and returned her pad to the table.

* * *

“Good morning Audrey!” Nurse Adams cheerily greeted her at 10AM, carefully threading a sturdy black wheelchair through the doorframe. “Norma says you can visit Annie now if you’re ready?”

Nurse Adams was very pretty for a woman in her early forties. Due to good genes or a vigorous health regime, the effects of aging were still yet to dig its claws into her. She was well liked by everyone, apart from Audrey. Though it was through no fault of her own - there was just something about her constantly cheerful disposition that rubbed Audrey the wrong way. In different circumstances, she might have tolerated her better, but the persistent lack of sleep placed Audrey in a permanent state of frustration. The unwavering optimism she emitted irked her on her lowest days as if it was taunting her. There were times where she wanted nothing more than to smack the smile off her face.

This was the only time Audrey mirrored her joyful gaze, nodding earnestly in response to her question.

Investigating Annie’s condition wasn’t the only aspect that enthralled Audrey. The visit would also mark her first venture outside of her room.

 She had started physiotherapy two days after waking, one week ago today. It was a welcome relief from the mattress that had warped to her body shape during her 3 week coma. Her progress was above average – She was currently able to stand up with minimal support, and could even walk a few steps before the pain and fatigue intervened. If her development continued to improve at this rate, she would be discharged in a few weeks.

Naturally this pleased Audrey, but one physical hindrance still troubled her – She still could not speak.

She was glad to be in a wheelchair as she was wheeled into the corridor. The simple act of leaving her month-long prison made her giddy with excitement.

The corridor was empty, save for an unknown doctor and a demure couple, presumably visiting another patient. The piercingly bright lights cascaded down the passageway until it was broken up by one that had malfunctioned. It flickered intermittently.

The sight was wholly unremarkable, but to Audrey it was the most fascinating thing she’d seen in days.

* * *

Audrey could never forget when she first saw Dale and Annie together, staring deeply into each other’s eyes at the RR Diner. Nothing could have prepared her for the sheer intensity of her heartache, so akin to physical pain it almost brought her to her knees.

The stars had aligned when Dale first came into her life. She had been so sure he was the one who would whisk her away from her life of segregation and stagnation, and into a world full of mystery and adventure.

But as she witnessed him falling in love with another as swiftly as a bolt of lightning, Audrey felt like her purpose – no - her _destiny_ had been rewritten.

The injustice of it shattered her.

She almost hated Dale, appalled that he had moved onto another girl so quickly – and with one who was only _two years_ her senior.

He knew how she felt about him. Did he realise how much he’d hurt her? More to the point, did he even _care?_

She really had no right to be angry – they were never in a relationship. The affectionate nature of their friendship disguised that fact. But it was no coincidence that their conversations ceased shortly after Annie arrived. She didn’t see him at breakfast anymore, presumably now spending them at the RR in the presence of _her._ If she was lucky enough to catch him in the Great Northern in the evening, it was never for very long. He always had somewhere else to be.

It didn’t feel like they were friends anymore. Their special bond now non-existent.

In spite of the pain, in her heart of hearts Audrey knew she couldn’t hate Dale. She _loved_ him, and in that moment she would have done anything not to feel that way.

When Jack entered the picture, Audrey saw the opportunity she was looking for. She took it, uncaring that she didn’t feel as strongly for him as he did for her. It was selfish; she’d admit that, but necessary to cope with the burrowing sensation in her heart that deepened every time she saw Dale under Annie’s spell.

Little did she know that a month later, Annie would be lying in a hospital bed, catatonic and alone.

Audrey only had to look at her to ascertain that Annie had suffered a fate worse than death, even with the absence of any external injuries. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she craned her head to examine her.

She was awake, but the blank, almost doll-like look in her eyes made it clear that her mind was not. At least, Audrey hoped it wasn’t. The idea of being helplessly locked inside your own body was a chilling scenario. It reminded Audrey hauntingly of her nightmare, causing her leg to tremor recklessly. Annie’s eyes didn’t indicate any pain or sorrow, just an endless abyss of vacancy.

She stared unblinking at the ceiling, oblivious to the gorgeous bunch of white lilies on the table to her left, and her forlorn sister to her right.

Audrey gripped the arms of her seat uneasily. She couldn’t figure out anything by looking at her. Was it a standard internal injury, or did something traumatise her into this state?

Her jealousy had made her blind to Annie’s radiance, even in the throes of her living coma. Her hair – A stark contrast to her own – was voluminous encased in perfect ringlets. The blonde was a vibrant contrast to the paleness of the pillow that cushioned it. The only trait they did share was their complexion; Annie was deathly pale.

The grievances Audrey had with her rival melted away, succumbing to sincere sympathy. She had fiercely disliked Annie, but would have never wished this upon her. She wouldn’t have wished this on _anybody_.

Her state forced Audrey to question how Dale could have possibly left her like this from an ethical standpoint. If she learned anything from her time with him, she knew that Dale had a very strict adherence to morality after being on the receiving end in his hotel room. While he had been through a similar situation before with Caroline, the vital difference was that she had died instantly _._ Annie was alive and still had a chance to recover, no matter how slim the chances were.

_Would Dale have done the same to her if she had been in Annie’s shoes?_

The question hit her like a cannonball to the stomach. She quashed it without further contemplation.

Norma winced as she gazed at Audrey’s injured face. The plum like growth under her eye had shrunk slightly, but much to Audrey’s disappointment, it still appeared to rouse alarm at first glance.

“How are you feeling, Audrey?” she asked, the glassy sheen in her eyes indicated she had recently cried, maybe minutes before her arrival.

Norma was well liked by the Twin Peaks community and Audrey was no exception. Her kind smile was as permanent as the beauty spot by Audrey’s eye. To see it so glaringly absent and replaced with a look so bereft disheartened her beyond words.

Much like her father, Norma also seemed to be suffering from a spell of self-neglect as a consequence of her sister’s condition. She shared Annie’s bright blonde hair, but in a straighter style that was currently bunched up in a lacklustre ponytail.

Audrey scribbled in her pad. She had too many problems in truth, and despite Norma having a firm reputation as a confidante, she’d subdued most of her issues in Dale’s letter for the time being. Her writing hand still ached mercilessly.

She instead wrote: _“I’m okay thanks. Has Annie shown any improvement?”_

Her face slackened slightly, revealing her answer before she spoke.

“No, none at all”

She turned her attention back to Annie, whose empty stare had fallen on her. Audrey raised her hand, greeting her with a weak flick of her wrist.

Annie was still, showing no signs of acknowledgement.

  _“Can she see me?”_

Norma shook her head.

_“What happened to her? What did Sheriff Truman say?”_

“Not much only that they found her at Glastonbury Grove with Agent Cooper. He doesn’t remember what happened”

Audrey frowned. She found it very hard to believe that Agent Cooper knew nothing. Annie had been kidnapped by his former partner. The fact that Cooper apparently knew where he was taking her implied that he had an idea of what his intentions were. He had to know _something._

Unless the real truth was too traumatic to explain, even for a seasoned Agent of the Bureau.

 “I feel like I’ve failed her all over again. I couldn’t protect her when she tried to kill herself, and now she’s in a state that she’ll most likely never recover from. I wish there was something I could do”

Experiencing a momentary lapse in composure, Norma bowed her head. She squeezed Annie’s hand lightly; her half-sister gave no indication that she felt it in return.

Audrey ignored the intense ache of her arms and hands as she brought herself closer to Norma’s hunched form.

Norma only looked up again when she felt a frail hand grasping the one in her lap. They exchanged small smiles of comfort.

“Thank you, Audrey”   

After a few seconds Audrey relinquished her hand, returning to her pad.

_“She’ll wake up, Norma. I’m sure of it.”_

“I hope so”

Audrey had no further questions pertaining to Annie, but with only a bed waiting for her back in her room, she chose to stay for a while. Both women were keen for a distraction from their respective plights so their conversations were focussed on lighter subjects, such as Audrey’s progress with her physio and her plans after discharge. When Audrey tried to enquire about Norma, she kept her answers short, giving Audrey the impression that she didn’t wish to talk about herself. She recognised with grim reluctance that there must have been very few positive developments in Norma’s life right now.    

She took her leave when Shelly Johnson arrived at around 11.30.

Audrey had her answers, but few of them were satisfactory. She hoped Annie would eventually awaken, but if her coma was anything like her own, she was likely to know just as little as Audrey currently did, perhaps even less. She would have to investigate further if she had any hope of finding out what happened.

With her visit only partly successful, Audrey realised she had two remaining options – speak to Sheriff Truman, or call the FBI directly. However, as her current physical condition was unchanged, she was forced to postpone her decision for the time being until she was relatively able-bodied to carry out her investigation.

* * *

The only other notable event during her hospital stay was when Donna returned a few weeks later.

This time she visited alone.

She barely made a sound as she entered the room, quiet and meek as a mouse. Her demeanour had recaptured the despondence she had when the news of Laura’s murder first broke out. Audrey wondered what kind of problem was troubling her on the same scale of the death of her best friend.

Audrey had often wondered why Donna and Laura were best friends. She supposed they fit together well on paper, considering Laura’s philanthropic efforts and Donna’s kind, if naïve personality. But under the surface, they were poles apart. Laura’s charitable actions hid a seedy underbelly far murkier than anyone could have imagined.

Audrey had been mildly aware of Laura’s double life. When they were friends, they used to go out with older guys and without fail Laura would end up all over one of them by the end of the night. On one occasion, Audrey had gotten so fed up that she ended up ditching her.

Her affair with James was obvious to anyone who had eyes; James’ prolonged gazing at her during class was anything but subtle.

She’d found out about her drug habit when she bailed from Mathematics for a quick smoke in the bathroom. Laura was doing coke by the sinks.

As soon as she saw her she’d stopped in her tracks. Laura was huddled in the corner, snorting from a miniature spoon. Their eyes met, precipitating a slight pause before Laura smiled, acting as if Audrey caught her doing something completely innocuous.

Audrey recalled being mostly unfazed by the revelation. Mindful of her reputation with older men it was almost more surprising she hadn’t found out sooner.

“Now, this doesn’t look like the behaviour of a Homecoming Queen!” Audrey said in a mock scolding tone.

They both burst out laughing.

“And what is the behaviour of a Homecoming Queen?” By the width of Laura’s smile, it appeared the cocaine had already started to affect her.

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t involve skipping classes and snorting nose candy”

Laura offered the coke vial to her, but Audrey shook her head. The lack of control that recreational substances invoked had never appealed to her.

“I’ll stick with the drink, thanks”

Returning to her original question with Laura’s dark side now firmly in mind, why did she have this bond with a good girl like Donna? Did she hope that it would mask her seedy reputation? Or maybe Donna was everything Laura wanted to be and she hoped it would rub off on her.

It was interesting to take into account how outlandishly ‘Laura-like’ Donna’s personality became after her passing, even down to stealing her secret boyfriend before her body even had time to cool. Perhaps acting more like her was comforting in her time of grief.

As Audrey now glanced at Donna’s lost expression and her hands that quivered from nicotine withdrawal, it seemed that her strange phase had vanished as quickly as it appeared and she had regressed back to the Dormouse disposition Audrey was better acquainted with.

She looked skinnier than Audrey remembered, dark circles evident on her already gaunt face. Her arms clutched the purse on her lap. She sat silently for a full minute before she gained the courage to speak.

 “I’m sorry I couldn’t come in last time. Something came up”

Audrey knew she was lying, but grateful for a visitor that wasn’t her parents, she decided not to call her out on it.

_“It’s fine. Are you okay? You look upset”_

Donna bit her lip slightly before she answered.

“Yeah…I’m sorry, I just…I don’t know how to explain it”

Acknowledging her grief only served to exacerbate it, her blue eyes were now glassy and lost. Audrey feared she may had crossed a line by her enquiry.

_“Don’t feel like you have to, Donna”_

“But I do, Audrey. It involves you”

Audrey looked at her, bemused. She had never been close to Donna; she was too much of a goody-two-shoes for her to withstand. What sort of issue could have possibly involved them both?

“I wanted to wait until you were out of here, but I’m leaving just after graduation so I don’t know if I’ll have another opportunity”

 _“To tell me what?”_ The suspense was making her hands itchy; she fiddled with the name tag on her wrist to occupy them.

Donna took in a shaky breath, taking time to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to say.

Audrey was ready to shout at her, but her mutism forced her to be patient.

Finally ready, Donna cradled her purse in an act of self-comfort.

“My mother, she...had an affair not long before I was born. My Dad…m-might not be my real Dad”

Audrey struggled to understand how Donna’s cheating Mom had anything to do with her, until a horrible thought alerted her to the truth.

She was unable to lift her pen to paper. All she could do is stare.

Noticing her realisation, Donna confirmed her fears.

“There a chance we are half-sisters”

Audrey was still, watching as the tears finally fell down her half-sibling’s cheeks. In a matter of seconds her perception of Donna transformed irreversibly. She could see her father in her eyes. She could see _herself_ in her brunette hair and in the shape of her nose. The evidence was staring at her, and had been for all these years.

Donna Hayward was her half-sister. No test was necessary.

Audrey couldn’t think of anything to say, but had PLENTY to say to an ex-relative they now shared.

Doctor Hayward’s wistful reaction to Donna’s name weeks ago finally made sense. Embarrassment billowed at her faux pas, undeterred by her past obliviousness. He had helped Audrey so much, both physically and emotionally; the last thing she wanted to do was cause him any discomfort in return.

She later tried to apologise to him, on both herself and on her father’s behalf, but he’d dismissed it with a wave of his hand, stating that she had nothing to apologise for.

Ben’s self-serving attitude had destroyed not just his own family, but the Haywards as well. Just when Audrey thought her contempt for him couldn’t delve any deeper.

Wiping her tears away with a balled up tissue, Donna reached into her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper with some writing on it. She stood and placed it on Audrey’s bedside table.

“This is my number and my new address. Don’t feel like to have to get in touch, but if you do, those are my details” Having nothing further to say, she walked towards the door, wondering if she’d ever see Audrey again. “Goodbye Audrey”

Audrey stared absently at the empty seat for some time, trying to process and order her thoughts. Upon failing this, she reached over and pressed her emergency bell, alerting a nearby nurse.

A huge part of her would rather eat her own hand than speak to her father, but she needed to hear the truth from him.

_“Tell Benjamin Horne I would like to see him, please”_

* * *

Ben hadn’t seen Audrey in weeks. This decision was not by choice as Audrey had asked the hospital staff to refuse him entry not long after their explosive confrontation.

On the day he discovered this, Audrey could hear his livid rantings from her room as they turned him away. She couldn’t have kept the smug smile from her face if she tried.

Even her mother had tried to convince her to change her mind. Audrey had balked, finding it bewildering to hear her mother defending him for the very first time. Nevertheless Audrey stubbornly stood her ground.

After keeping out of her way, Ben was delighted to be summoned to see her. He cancelled the rest of his appointments for the day as soon as he was off the phone with the nurse. He secretly hoped that she’d come around, and now that she had, he could finally make his long awaited amendments.

“Audrey!” He said, charging into her room eagerly “I’m so glad you called”

He seized her hand intending to kiss it, but Audrey snaked out of his grasp in favour of her pad and pen. Ben subdued himself to silence, realising she was still angry with him. His heart sank.

_“I’ve just spoken to Donna, is it true?”_

He was hoping he would never have to answer this question. Ben continued to be silent, knowing exactly what she was referring to. He didn’t want to confirm, but he also couldn’t lie. Lying was no longer an option for him.

A few seconds later, Audrey scribbled on the page, underlining her question multiple times.

With a sigh of defeat, he fixed his eyes on hers and nodded.

“Yes, it’s true”

With no alternative method to express her anger, Audrey screwed up the page and launched a projectile at her father for the second time.

Ben didn’t flinch as it struck his chest, knowing that he fully deserved it.

 _"You’re disspicable!!”_ She wrote, misspelling her words through the red mist of her rage _“I am moving out! You’re not my father, you’re a selfish pig and I hate you!”_

“Audrey, I-“

Audrey held up her emergency bell in a threatening manner.

Ben stepped back in a gesture of surrender. He couldn’t believe a singular moment of weakness had caused this much damage. He felt deeply ashamed of himself.

As if to remind him of what he had just lost, the memories of Audrey as a young child began to play through his mind.

She’d loved him then, unconditionally.

He remembered her birth like it was yesterday. Sylvia had gone into labour nine weeks early. When Doctor Hayward told him they might lose Audrey he’d never felt so scared in his life. In this present moment as he stared into her beautiful eyes consumed by her hatred for him, the fear returned, and _stayed_.

Unwilling to let her see the tears forming in his eyes, he turned his attention to the window. The sun was hidden behind the Douglas firs but the pink-red hue of the sky indicated that the sun was setting. A perfect metaphor for his perishing relationship with his daughter.

She watched him coldly. If Audrey hadn’t known any better, she would have thought he was about to cry. Her expression remained.

With a shaky exhale, Ben made his way towards the door. Before he re-joined the corridor, he paused and turned back to her once more.

“Just let me say this: I love you Audrey, I will always love you, and I can’t apologise enough for my behaviour over the years. I promise I will be a better person from now on. I can only hope you can forgive me in time. My door will always be open if you ever need me”

On another aggrieved offspring of a heartless businessman, this speech might have worked, if not briefly. But for Audrey, it was too little, too late. She didn’t respond and waited for him to leave her in peace.

Her former father left the room.

Their relationship would never be restored.

It remained one of the biggest regrets of Ben’s life, and he never forgave himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needless to say, writing about Audrey's misfortunes is very emotionally draining :( So in order to counteract this I am currently planning a much happier Dale/Audrey oneshot! (Well...technically twoshot - there will be two chapters!) If it pans out as I'm currently planning, it will be the most lighthearted TP fic I've written so far. I'll most likely start writing it as soon as Rewritten is done and dusted, so watch this space!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3 Feedback always welcome


	5. "Our daughter is stronger than you realise"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the mild spoiler, but got another RAPE warning in this chapter.  
> You have been warned.

Audrey left Calhoun Memorial on the 23th May 1989 – the eight week anniversary of her hospitalisation. Through her hard work in physiotherapy, she had managed – for the most part - to regain the use of her neglected faculties. She could now walk for short periods of time; crutches on hand for longer journeys. Due to the minimal damage she’d originally sustained, the usage of her hands and upper torso was fully restored first and foremost with no lasting limitations. The chicken scratch scrawl swiftly morphed back into her original handwriting from regular communication with staff and visitors.

She was also able to sleep for longer periods of time; thanks to the sleeping pills she was eventually prescribed. With the restoration of her sleeping pattern and her nightmares vanquished, Audrey finally experienced some welcome positivity in her remaining weeks. The worst had happened, she had dwelled on that fact for far too long, missing the all-important bottom line - she was still alive. The only trajectory past the point of her accident was up, and the only way to reinforce this was by staying positive.

Now cognizant of this, she began to take care of herself again.  As her father was permanently prohibited from seeing her, Audrey’s only frequent visitor was her mother. Similar to Ben, they didn’t have a particularly stable relationship, but as the exposure was limited to small regular visits, they managed to establish a cordial rapport.

Audrey’s appearance had greatly unsettled Sylvia. This was not limited to merely her physical injuries, but also her ratty hair and the washed out complexion that rendered her only daughter unrecognisable. They never had a close bond, but one thing Sylvia had always taken pride of, in regards to Audrey, was her inherent beauty. In an effort to repair this, she’d ventured into her bedroom and raided every hair product and cosmetic she could find and delivered it straight to her bedside. Audrey – then sleep deprived and apathetic – turned her nose up at it, silently chastising her by shoving the box onto the floor. She was already well aware of how horrible and dishevelled she looked; she didn’t need her self-involved mother reminding her of it. The box sat under her bed undisturbed for weeks until her epiphany of positivity took place.

Audrey’s eventual turnaround was met with wholehearted approval from Sylvia. The swollen imperfection of her healing cheekbone was still present, but the application of foundation and mascara successfully drew attention away from it. Her beautiful girl was returning.

 Irrespective of her physical and psychological advancement, Audrey still found herself incapable of uttering a syllable to her acute frustration. If this continued for one more month, she was at risk of being classed as mute. She was also left with no choice but to reluctantly remain in the family home for the foreseeable future, the lack of a voice made house hunting impossible.

Luckily for Audrey, her father was so busy at the Great Northern on most days that avoiding him was a breeze. When she did see him, she would simply leave the room, much to Ben’s dismay.

Ben was pleased to see Audrey out of hospital but was dejected in equal measure by her harsh treatment of him. He wanted to stay assured that her anger would fade over time, but over the two week period her attitude towards him never waned. Their connection as father and daughter looked permanently severed.

Johnny was also very happy to see her after their two month absence. Whatever disturbance that caused his behaviour during his only visit had apparently dissipated.

Her extended hospital stay meant that Audrey had missed her final exams and had therefore missed her chance to graduate that year. In line with her refurbished perspective, she would not let her accident affect her plans to become a Special Agent; her only recourse was to repeat the year. This was another source of irritation to Audrey; her desire to leave Twin Peaks for good was stronger than it had ever been. Delaying her life plan for an extra year was unthinkable to her, but she had no other choice.

As the school year had ended by the time she was released, Audrey had an abundance of spare time. Looking towards her future, she made multiple trips to the library, taking out books on both sign language and FBI related literature. The former served as a vital back up if her vocal chords were permanently defunct.

She also re-wrote and mailed her letter to Dale. She amended some paragraphs in context and mentioned of her plans to join him in his vocation in the hope that he could give her some advice. Audrey could feel her heart physically aching for him as she wrote; it strained against her chest ruthlessly. She missed him more than ever, but she had to let him go for now. He had his career to think of, and she had her future.

Two weeks after her discharge, Audrey soon found herself in a state of perpetual malaise. Tiredness, nausea and dizziness plagued her day in and day out.

These general symptoms did not alarm her - she didn’t let them - not when there was much to be done to get her life back on track. Her medical issues were negligible in perspective. Instead, she passed them off as the by-product of a weakened immune system and thought nothing further. Whilst it would have been commendable in other circumstances, in Audrey’s case it was an egregious oversight. If she had paid more attention to her ailments, she may have noticed another more telling symptom of her diagnosis - she hadn’t had her period in months. She had chalked the initial ones up to extreme stress, but had failed to take note that they had still not returned.

The re-emergence of her bad dreams soon remedied that.

* * *

_Audrey was awake, but had no strength to open her eyes._

_She was locked in a box room, deep within the bowels of One Eyed Jacks. The bustle from the active casino was faintly audible, its patrons blissfully unaware of the kidnapped teenager, close to an overdose and in dire need of rescuing._

_Like Icarus, she had flown too close to the sun and now she was paying the price with no Special Agent coming to her rescue. Sure, she had uncovered her father’s involvement with One-Eyed Jacks - information that Agent Cooper was sure to find useful - but at what cost? Her forced injections caused a burning rush of exhilaration and nausea deep within her veins. Whatever the substance was, it was potent enough to kill her._

_It was game over. Her inert limbs pinned to the mattress and her wrists tied to the bedpost, she waited for death._

_At the time, Audrey believed this to be her lowest point._

_Why wasn’t he here? Had he not received her message? Was it intercepted? Was he dead? Had Jean Renault killed him? Questions buzzed around her brain with no hope for answers. All she knew was that she was in deep, deep trouble with no sign of salvation._

_Realising she was not long for this world; she tried to fabricate a happier ending for herself. Her Special Agent would be here, his eyes wild with desire for her. He’d take her into his strong arms and effortlessly fight his way past her captors. He’d take her home, still holding her tightly, and never with the intention of letting her go._

_The bed sank with the weight of another, gently encouraging Audrey to open her eyes. Her heart fluttered as her happy ending came to life - her belated knight of shining armour stared back with helpless apprehension._ _His concealed affection for her shone uninhibited through his eyes, clear as crystal._

_Dale swallowed away at the persistent lump of ache at the base of his throat but to no effect. He’d tried so hard for weeks to suppress the feelings he had for Audrey, but seeing her in an apparently drug riddled stupor broke his heart and briefly nullified his stoic mask. He cursed himself for not remembering her note. He could have prevented this._

_“Can I believe my eyes?” Her voice was still hoarse from her recent screams and cries. In her half-conscious state, Audrey believed Dale to be a mirage. She blinked at him rapidly, shakily lifting her upper torso an inch to see him more clearly._

_Her animation confirmed Dale’s worst fears - she had been drugged, he guessed Heroin. Judging by the needle marks dotted haphazardly in the crook of her arm there had been multiple administrations. In her half-lidded eyes, he saw her pupils had constricted to two tiny pins in pools of blue._

_He wanted nothing more than to scoop her into his arms and tell her that everything would be alright. He wanted to kiss her lips – oath be damned – and never let her go, but the former was all he could allow himself to do. Her critical state before him provided a grim warning if he dared to pursue the latter._

_“Audrey,” Dale whispered, unable to stabilise his wavering voice “I’m going to take you out of here”_

_She could have cried, this time in joy that her Prince had finally come to rescue her. But before he could, a burst of electricity filled Audrey’s ears; a split second flash of pure whiteness startled her eyes wide._

_The cue for Blackie’s sister to attack Dale came and went. She had inexplicably disappeared._

_The room didn’t resemble One Eyed Jacks anymore. It was cold and clinical. The merry murmurings of the oblivious crowd replaced with the incessant beating of Audrey’s heart, accelerating steadily in response to her deteriorating environment._

_Her relief was replaced with disorientation. This isn’t what she remembered._

_She stared deeply into Dale’s eyes, witnessing their morbid transition. The hazel hue of his irises rippled into black like droplets of ink. The subtle change quickly infected his other features; an unnatural smile bared his teeth._

_Audrey’s confusion turned into fear, praying that this was merely a side effect of the drugs in her system. Instead of her wrists feeling the relief of their cut bonds, the doppelganger exacerbated her imprisonment by crawling on top of her. Writhing nervously against him, she realised what he was about to do. Her attraction to Dale was still very much prevalent, and yet her feelings of elation were stifled. Something about the situation felt wrong to her._

_Deeply wrong._

_Sensing something hard against her leg, she glanced down and saw the considerable swelling at the front of his trousers. A forbidden mix of terror and misplaced arousal set fire to her loins. She also noticed that she  was no longer in a sweater and skirt, they were replaced  by a thin white hospital gown. The chill that coated her skin told her she had nothing on underneath._

_The sound of her heart morphed into a beeping monitor._

_Audrey’s body was paralysed with fear as Dale grabbed the hem of her gown and pulled it upwards just below her chin. Her milky white breasts quivered to the fervent drumbeat in her chest._

_Dale’s gaze travelled lazily up her body, taking in every inch of her exposed flesh with unadulterated lust. His hands were in quick pursuit, touching and fondling before resting on her rigid left nipple. He rolled it between his thumb and index finger, uncaring if it pleasured or pained her. The other hand pressed against the bed as he lowered himself, brushing his cheek against hers._

_“I think I’ve waited long enough for a slice of your cherry pie, Audrey Horne.” His voice oozed into her ear, deeper than Cooper’s usual tone and substantially more sinister “I always wondered if it tasted sweeter than the pies at the Double R”_

_Without another word, he unfastened his pants and lowered them, exposing his erection._

_Audrey’s eyes widened; the air left her lungs. She had often fantasised of this moment, never once imagining that it would fill her with the most exquisite fear she currently felt._

_His calloused hands almost closed over her thin thighs as he ripped them open like a present, burying his thumb into each leg as he did so. No longer impeded by the risk of interruption, he savoured her horrified look, still smiling. Dale’s first wanton urge since setting foot in this town was about to be satiated._

_Bearing no detectable remorse in response to her visible dissention, the doppelganger drove his penis into her._

_Audrey’s mouth flew agape with a silent scream. The pain tore through her from groin to heart. She tried to cry out “Stop!” but no sound came out of her deadened vocal chords. Her hands strained desperately against their restraints, but her wrists stayed fused._

_“What’s the matter, Audrey?” He tucked a loose strand behind her ear as he whispered “You wanted this just as much as I did”_

_Through those familiar words, a lightbulb lit up in her head and the floodgates of the entire ordeal came flooding back to her._

_The inhuman eyes._

_The indescribable pain._

_The searing stench._

_The brazen pleasure._

_This wasn’t a nightmare. It happened._

_He RAPED her. Her Special Agent RAPED her._

“No!” She cried out in her sleep – the first words Audrey had said since her coma. “NO! D-Dale! Nuh-no! Not you, not you, PLEASE!” She squirmed desperately, her nails thrashed in the air as her spine arched against the mattress, fighting a monster that had left her long ago. Her hand struck the glass lamp on her nightstand. It toppled over, smashing against the varnished wooden floor and plunging Audrey’s room into darkness.

_Hot tears fell from the corners of her eyelids as he nestled between her shoulder and neck. An unfamiliar sensation grazed her and she was too scared to see what it was._

_Opening her eyes felt like a mistake, but it was necessary to clear her true love’s name and prevent a lifetime of irreversible emotional damage._

_A thatch of matted grey hair scratched against her cheek, and harsh denim created sore friction against her thighs and stomach._

_Dale had suddenly been replaced by someone else entirely._

_Her eyes bulged as BOB discerned her realisation, raising his head to meet her gaze. The monster grinned at her from ear to ear. His eyes penetrated her soul and incinerated her from the inside out._

Dale’s transformation was too much for Audrey to bear. She woke up the household with a blood curdling scream, blistering her tender throat.

She remembered everything.

Her head reverberated with physical and mental agony, blaring as loud as a siren. Tears flowed from her wild eyes alongside large beads of sweat, she tremored violently, reacting to the shock of her soiled memories of Agent Cooper.

The impact of her revelation caused imminent rejection within body and mind. An influx of bile filled her throat and mouth, giving her precious seconds to scramble to the edge of her bed to vomit onto the floorboards.  

Seconds later, Sylvia and Ben burst into her room, alarmed by what they’d heard and even more so at the image they were confronted with when the lights snapped on.

“Oh god, Audrey!” Sylvia cried from the doorway. She made no move to aid her - the concern for her daughter not quite outweighing her reluctance to become contaminated with vomit. “What’s wrong with her, Ben?!”

The contents of her stomach now voided, Audrey’s tired arms began to buckle beneath her.  She fell to the floor hands first, narrowly avoiding the mess she’d just made, crumpling into the foetal position upon impact. The agony of her shattered heart gushed from her mouth as incoherent sobs. She was so wrapped up in her grief that she was still completely oblivious to her parents’ presence.

Audrey’s behaviour were recognisable to Ben – his mother had suffered from the similar symptoms. “She’s having a panic attack.”

“We’ve got to get her to the Hospital”

Ben glared at her, incredulous at her suggestion. “The Hospital? Let’s not be rash, Sylvia. She’s not dying. Audrey just needs to calm down”

True to their narcissism and hatred for one another, they began to argue, continuing to ignore the urgent needs of their distraught daughter.

“How can you say that!?” Sylvia shot back at him “Look at her for God’s sake! This is the third night in a row she’s been sick. If you love your daughter at all, you’d drive us to the hospital right now!”

Ben looked at Audrey. Dressed in a thin pink nightie, she hugged her legs. Her breaths stuttered recklessly as a thick trail of moisture fell from her eyes splashed onto her bare knees. It was clear she was emotionally distraught for reasons forever unknown to him, but he knew another stint at the Hospital would not alleviate it. Only a psychiatrist would have any lasting effect.

“It’s a panic attack, Sylvia.” He stated, standing his ground “She doesn’t need medical attention. Our daughter is stronger than you realise. She can fight this”

As if on cue, Audrey’s incessant hyperventilating made her cry out in fear for her life. Afraid of the harsh contractions in her lungs, she reached out to her mother, wailing her desperate plea.

“Mommy… I can’t-can’t…breathe-can’t breathe. Huh-help me!”

Sylvia, though disturbed by her daughter’s words, was too busy relishing in her validated point to respond to her request. It was all the encouragement she needed to rush to the telephone in her bedroom, but the temptation to rebuke Ben first proved too great. She glared at him with unbridled disdain. “You are heartless bastard, Benjamin. It’s no wonder she hates you! I’m calling Barry, he can drive us.”

She left the room without another word.

Ben sighed and turned his attention back to Audrey. “You’re not dying, Audrey. You’re going to be fine”

Terror flooded her eyes like a caged animal as her father stepped towards her. Flashbacks of when he pursued her in One Eyed Jacks came rushing back, heightening her fear. She scrambled backwards into the wall behind her, her left foot collapsed as she slid on her own vomit.

“N-No! Go away. GO AWAY”

Disregarding her warnings, Ben crept closer reaching out to take her hand. “It’s okay Audrey; you’re going to be okay. Just breathe, darling”

As earnest as Ben’s intentions were, attempting to calm down Audrey was the worst thing he could have done in context of her recent enlightenment. She viciously slapped his hand away and launched herself into the opposite corner of her room. Adrenaline numbed the pain that would have exploded in her left leg on impact.

“DON’T TOUCH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

A body blocked Audrey before she made it to her destination. It hugged her tightly, restraining her arms.

Audrey looked up at her captor, ready to attack whoever she saw, but she faltered at the sight of her brother staring back at her. Within seconds, the debilitating feelings of fear began to melt away in Johnny’s embrace. Nestling deeper into his chest, she engulfed in the aura of safety he radiated. The defence mechanism finally kicked in, convincing herself that was she experienced was a horribly vivid nightmare. Nothing more.

Johnny said nothing in response, gazing at her blankly. He had heard her cries from his bedroom on the other side of the house. Through the fog of his affliction, he knew he needed to be by her side.

Ben watched them. Realising she was in safe hands with Johnny, he went across the hall to inadvertently reignite his feud with Sylvia.

“Dale wouldn’t do this to me, would he Johnny?” She stared up at her brother when they were alone, her eyes still swimming tears “He cared for me. He’d never do this”

Johnny shook his head despite having no comprehension of what his sister just asked him.

The weakness in her legs finally caught up with her, causing them to give way. Johnny’s grip prevented her from falling; he lowered them both to the floor. In response she hugged him tighter, quaking from head to toe and murmuring desperate words into his shirt.

* * *

 It took a mild sedative to get Audrey readmitted to Calhoun Memorial. Her mother was relieved to find out her original room was still available, but it ended up causing more harm than good. Audrey may have been able to convince herself the assault never happened, but the emotional intensity of the dream remained fused to the environment. Her mere presence squeezed at her lungs.

Despite being admitted at 2.15AM, Audrey didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, in fear of what might happen if she did. She couldn’t risk having another nightmare of such abhorrence. Another one had the potential of killing her from fight. This one had come very close.

She had begged for her mother to stay with her, but the nurses came to the same conclusion as Ben and assured Sylvia she was fine. She promised to visit first thing the next morning.

Refusing to sleep, Audrey sat in bed with almost stasis like stillness, toeing the line between conscious and unconscious for the longest six hours of her life. She was disinterested in all that surrounded her, with stress screaming constant through her ears.  The only activity she permitted was repeating a short mantra in her recently traumatised brain.

_It was only a dream._

_I am fine._

_It was only a dream._

_I am fine._

_It was only a dream._

_I am fine._

* * *

The sudden reappearance of Audrey’s voice had defied all expectations. Upon her initial examination, the severity of her entropic vocal chords indicated that full restoration should have been a very slow process. Instant reinstatement was impossible, and yet Audrey had somehow achieved it. No one could explain it, but they were nevertheless pleased for her. As instructed by Sylvia, they ran multiple tests on her to check any underlying issues, but all of them came back negative.

With the exception of one.

Sylvia was with her when Nurse Adams came in the next morning, beaming under the false pretence that her news would be welcomed.

“Good morning Audrey, your tests have come back - I have some news for you. Would you like to keep your mother present for this?”

The question invited faint stirrings of alarm in her belly. Audrey had no doubt in her mind that, apart from extreme stress, there was nothing medically wrong with her. It looked like she was about to be disproved. The smile on the nurse’s face implied nothing life-threatening – quite the opposite. However it was of little comfort to Audrey, who just wanted to forget this incident ever happened and carry on rebuilding her life. She swallowed thickly and took hold of her mother’s hand in an impulsive act of anxiety.

Sylvia stared at the nurse, mirroring Audrey’s concern. She squeezed her daughter’s hand lightly.

“You’re pregnant”

Those two simple words ground time to a halt. Audrey felt the colour drain from her face. “I’m what?!”

“She’s what??” Sylvia blurted out in tandem, her mouth ajar. She’d known of Audrey’s relationship with John Wheeler, but had never expected it to become sexual so quickly, they had only been courting for no more than two weeks before the explosion.

“But, I-I can’t be! It’s not possible! I…”

Audrey trailed off. She knew exactly how it had been possible. The illusion she’d created for herself began to crack, but not quite crumble – It still could have been Jack’s baby. He had worn protection, but they were only 98% effective – or so Audrey had heard. The only other explanation was too harrowing for Audrey to even touch.

She needed to be alone, to vent by any means necessary.

“Can I have the room to myself please? I need a shower”

“Of course, Audrey” Nurse Adams said, leaving the room promptly.

Sylvia, however, didn’t budge, crossing her arms in preparation for their discussion. “Audrey, I think we need to talk about this first”

Audrey glared at her, talking of this latest blow was the last thing she wanted to do, particularly with her.

“No we don’t” She replied flatly “I feel disgusting. I am having a shower. Please leave”

The rising irritation in Audrey eyes did not deter her mother’s intrusion.

“Be that as it may, I think this matter takes precedence…”

Colliding fiercely with her tolerance level, she threw the duvet off her legs and turned to face Sylvia. Still seated on the bed, her hands vented her rage by clutching the mattress beneath her thighs.

“I don’t give a _fuck_ what you think, Mom! If we must talk about this, it will be _after_ my shower. Not before. Do you understand?!”

Audrey’s scathing tone stunned Sylvia into a rare silence, her antagonistic scowl subdued into consternation. She nodded, and left the room without further comment.

Audrey sat with her eyes closed for a full minute, trying desperately to erase the last few minutes of her life. There had to be a mistake. A mix-up. Something. She had gotten so close to convincing herself that her nightmare had been exactly that, but this new revelation had the potential to ground it.

She couldn’t believe it, she couldn’t let herself. It _had_ to be Jack’s baby. Her life couldn’t possibly continue if her nightmare was the truth, and that she was now expecting.

Making her way to the bathroom, she was now aware of the pain in her left leg from her escape from Ben. Her heart thudded in her chest, becoming slower with each beat. She had to chew on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

An involuntary flinch shuttled through her as she turned on the bathroom lights – the electricity that powered them crackled loudly in her ears. The lights were so bright they almost blinded her, briefly incapacitating with a powerful ache behind her eyelids.

Closing and locking the door behind her, she undressed silently, feeling her breaths becoming shallow as her skin collided with the cool air.

For months she hadn’t allowed herself to gaze at her own naked reflection, in fear of the emotional collapse at the sight of her injured body. As she was now at the risk of a similar breakdown from other factors, she couldn’t imagine feeling any worse from it. With a bracing intake of breath, she turned towards the full length mirror opposite the shower cubicle.

What she saw made her sick to her stomach. Audrey’s skin was a waxen map of bumps and bruises stretched around a neglected and emaciated frame. Whilst she had taken care to restore her appearance to its original state, both through make up and regular meals, the starkness of her protruding hips, flat abdomen and the deflated shape of her bosom indicated that her weight would take some time to regain. As it stood, she was scarred skin around bone.

She was about to turn to enter the cubicle when a particular blemish caught her eye - a small bruise on her inner thigh. She was set to dismiss it as another injury from the explosion, but then she noticed an identical mark on the opposite leg. Both bruises had bled into small yellowish ovals, but Audrey saw them for what they were – _thumbnail indentations_.

Her legs had been forced open.

Audrey’s nightmare had been made undeniable flesh. She had run out of explanations. All that was left was the vile truth.

Her huge blue eyes wept from the shock that paralysed them. She gasped, and gasped, over and over, suffocating on her own agony before she unleashed another piercing scream. She drove her fist into the mirror, wanting to shatter the hard evidence that stood before her. The pane shattered on impact, shredding the fragile skin of her knuckles.

 _It wasn’t him. It wasn’t him._ Her rationality pleaded with her. _It may have been his body, but it wasn’t him._ But her brain, malfunctioning in its hysteria, couldn’t differentiate. She couldn’t rid the image of his perfect face surrendering to darkness with a menacing smile.

Uncaring of the fragments of glass raining around her, Audrey sank to the floor, sobbing loudly. Her heart eviscerated by her true love’s real violation. Questions repeated themselves in her head like a broken record. _Why did he do this? Was it really him? Who else did she see?_ She had no answers, only immeasurable pain.

Her anticipated shower had been made ineffectual. It could never cleanse these wounds. Even slicing the skin from her bones wouldn’t come close to absolving her from her brutal defilement.

Outside, concerned voices began to stir. Upon hearing her scream, they’d hurried in to investigate. The door handle rattled, but Audrey had locked it from the inside. They called out to her, knocking frantically at the door – but Audrey heard none of this - detached from the universe, and utterly consumed by grief.

Weeping into the linoleum sea of blood and glass, her hair fell in front of her face like a curtain, unveiling the memory of how “Dale” had stroked her hair as he thrusted into her. Still under the influence of her madness and giving no thought to the consequences, she grabbed a large shard of glass by her leg and began to hack away at her lush brunette locks. Caustic self-loathing bubbled under her skin. Her body’s involuntary response disgusted her with every fibre of her being. She wished she’d never remembered, even if it meant staying mute forever, it was a trade-off she would have happily made. Her desire for a voice was nothing compared to her desire to forget.

The domination of her emotions shielded her from pain, but she was still absently aware of a warm trickling sensation that travelled down her forearm in a long thick stripe. In her sadistic act of self-atonement she had handled the glass so firmly it had carved through her skin of her fingers and palm as easily as her hair. She didn’t care. Her entire body was tainted.

The nurses and her mother burst in seconds later. Sylvia’s horrified shriek reverberated down the corridor.

* * *

Sylvia watched her daughter sleep in stricken disbelief. Her actions in the bathroom frightened her beyond words and she hoped that her induced unconsciousness would cure the insanity that afflicted her. The beautiful brown hair that framed her face so perfectly now laid on her bathroom floor amongst glass and blood - she had to have several stitches in her right hand. What hair remained on her head was of uneven length, but mostly reduced to dark curls that coiled to her scalp. Her predilection towards esthetics meant that Audrey’s new look almost outweighed the chagrin Sylvia felt for her physical injuries. Paired with her skeletal figure, Sylvia thought she looked _homeless._ She wasn’t sure if the salon would be able to correct the mess she’d made.

For the life of her she couldn’t understand what had gotten into her. While it was undoubtedly a shock that she had become pregnant, it didn’t warrant the extreme reaction Audrey exhibited. When she relayed the situation to Ben over the phone, he had been adamant it was a mere product of anxiety, but Sylvia suspected that there was more to it. Was the father the issue? The only likely candidate was John Wheeler; could there have been another, less desirable suspect? The only man Audrey spent any length of time with recently – other than John – was Agent Cooper, but Sylvia held no suspicion over him. Ben may have thought differently on the matter, but she couldn’t have disagreed with him more. He was an FBI agent, hardly the type to jeopardise his career by impregnating a teenager.

Her thoughts goaded her into taking action. Audrey wouldn’t wake up for a few hours, so she decided to give Ben another call in the meantime.

“Great Northern Hotel, how-?”

“Louie, it’s Mrs Horne”

“Oh Mrs Horne, I’ll put you through”

Ben had been glazed over, staring an employee request form for ten minutes before Sylvia called. Audrey’s actions had disturbed him, easily distracting him from his duties. Upon hearing his phone,  he moved the form back into his ‘IN’ tray and picked up the receiver.

Like the rest of the family, he hadn’t slept at all. His lack of rest affected him from the get-go as he forgot about an important shareholders meeting that morning and, more embarrassingly, put on his suit jacket inside out. He was only aware of the latter mistake when a sheepish concierge mumbled it under her breath.

 Audrey’s actions had once again disrupted his business, although this time it was unintentional. He wished there was something he could do for her, but he knew she would never allow it, even if she needed it.

“How is she?”

“She’s still sleeping. How sure are you that John is the father?”

Ben paused for a few seconds, blindsided by the question. “…Very sure - they loved each other. Why?”

Sylvia paused, thinking how to word her next sentence. “I’ve just been thinking about what happened earlier. Why would she react that way if it was his baby? If she really loved him, shouldn’t she be happy?”

“Sylvia, you’re over analysing. She’s just very scared. She’s going to be a mother at nineteen”

“That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t see what she did! She _punched_ a mirror-!”

Ben dug his nails into the palm of his free hand. He didn’t want to hear this again; he’d struggled to digest the news the first time around.  “Yes, I know”

“-And I don’t see how stylists are going to be able to salvage the damage she’s done to her hair! She was _demented,_ Ben _!_ Like a wild animal!”

“It was just another panic attack, Sylvia. Nothing more. Perhaps we should get her to see a psychiatrist-”

“Can you give me John’s phone number? Maybe if we convince him to come back, she’ll calm down”

Ben sighed, “I don’t know if he will. I imagine he’ll still have his hands full after the death of his partner-“

“Full enough not to support the mother of his child?” She snapped at him “Don’t be ridiculous! Give me his damn number!”

Sylvia wrote on a borrowed pad from the adjacent ward reception as Ben relayed the information from his rolodex; his voice barely masking his long serving contempt for her. Her attention was briefly distracted by the receptionist who appeared to be listening in at the sound of her raised voice. At the sight of Sylvia’s narrowed eyes she quickly resumed her paperwork.

She hung up with an insincere “Goodbye” – Ben’s nonchalance to their daughter’s situation leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She looked forward to her appointment with the attorney next week. Their divorce was a long time coming.

She picked up the receiver the second after she’d put it down, dialling the number on the page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, without a doubt, the darkest chapter I've ever written - darker than midnight on a moonless night. I think it goes without saying that it was an extremely hard one to write, to the extent that I had to walk away from my laptop a couple of times! :/
> 
> Alas, my personal life has caught up with me. I'm moving AND finding a new job within the next two months so updates might be a bit slower from this point. I will try my best to work on getting the next chapters out as soon as poss, but yeah, this is the explanation if the next chapter takes a while... Boo real life adulting and priorities! :((
> 
> <3


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